Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
