I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
