But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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