I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
