I heard we made out
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
