yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
