this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
