things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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