he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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