I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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