It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
