We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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