I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
