I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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