Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
