white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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