apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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