i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
3pm strippers are depressing
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
