i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
