thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
