last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
