dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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