I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
