Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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