the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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