Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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