yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
