If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you never un-have a 4some
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
