I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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