We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
