yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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