Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
