You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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