chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
