I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
