you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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