sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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