So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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