Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
