I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
