Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
