i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
