How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
