Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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