We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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