She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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