i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
