My room smells like vodka and shame
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
