We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
