The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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