If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
