Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
How's work?
Spinning.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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