Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I could fuck to npr.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
