you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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